i dream of you again.
it just feel so weird cos people normally dream of things or people that are often in contact with.
but it was a good dream.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
sometimes silence is indeed golden. no point talking sense to a person who talks big. i totally understand what my supervisor told me, "if you need something, or you don't know anything, open your mouth to ask." serious, if you are reading the bible, there is a famous saying, ask and it shall be given unto you. please don't tell me you left that part out while reading the entire bible.
sometimes some people are just so good at talking that they think they can smoke through almost everything. sadly to break to bad news to you, you can't. wo shi guo lai ren. i went through a lot to become who i am today. i know who are those who talk a lot and try to smoke through, its just that i don't expose you.
speak lesser and do more. better still show results or else whatever you have been telling us that you are doing are considered dead works.
don't know, ask.
don't have, ask.
don't expect things to fall nicely on your lap.
grow up! no one is there to serve you.
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wooh. just a random comment that went through my mind on my way home.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
its coming. finally. i waited for it to come since june last year. :) yippie!!!
1st may 2007. tuesday.
peter parker.
spidey spider man III. my favourite.
i'm dying to catch it. :)
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
all i said was, "tomorrow you bring one for me also okie?" when i was playing with aston to take away his ribena during snack time. aston nodded his head with a shy smile. charlotte and tanisha immediatly said they also want to bring for me too. i end off my fun by shaking pinkies with three of them.
after my lunch break today while i went back to take over my class, vani passed me a ribena packet, just like the one i saw yesterday and told me a boy bring it for me. i had a shocked as i never expected aston to really keep his word. on a normal situation like such, children never remember. so many of them keep saying, 'tomorrow i give you this and that...' but of cos i never expect them to bring and anyway they didn't.
the small packet of ribena really made me smile. :)
after i gave aston a squeesey hug, charlotte raised her hands and said, "teacher regina, i also brought a packet for you." she ran over to her paper bag and take out... this time it was even more shocking cos it was the big packet, like those you buy it off the shop's fridge at $1.30+. i double checked with her if she was sure it wasn't for herself to drink. she told me, "no, it's for you, i ask my daddy to buy for you." with that she pointed at me.
i really let out a big smile and gave her a big teddy hug. oh btw, cos her dad is quite a pretty nice person and friendly, plus she made her dad buy it so i am more embarrassed. i reminded them a few times that when they get home, remember to tell their parents that i said thank you. strangely, charlotte frowned and asked me, "but why". i replied, "because i am being polite."
i guess i won't want to play prank on my kids anymore. but its really sweet that they really made effort to remember. well i like days like this when i feel special.
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i am not greedy. i was just playful, like what sean comment.
now i wonder what will i get tomorrow.... erm ops! haha.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
the last time i remembered, i bang onto the edge of a pull-out-drawer. the other was, while standing up my shoulder got scratched by the corner of the mahjong table. i can't explain how did the third bruise come about, rather i didn't even know i had it on me. well when it is not one of my days, i get into an "accident prone" state.
bleah. i hate to have blue-blacks. i never remember to apply medication and i always need to find people to rub for me. wee... they are not sadist but they help me a lot, even though it hurts quite a bit. :)
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i remembered that my date line is the 17th May. i have alot of work to do this weekend. :/ which is NOT a good news cos weekends are supposed for me to plan the next week's lesson plan. when you are the head-of-level, it sucks. cos you have MORE things to do and sometimes it feels that the other party is not doing anything, cos things are given too last min by me. thus i have to do more. neh.
i am a freak-o in cleanliness. i need to be in control of my material stuff or i will go mad in messy work area.
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i hate to control but circumstances disallow me to be letting my hair loose.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
i love my short hair.
people ask why i cut,
well, b'cos i like.
like it or not,
i don't care. :)
i like people who like me.
i mean who don't?
i too love a list of people.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
one day when we get to heaven and there's a result slip, i wonder how will He grade me.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
i'm back with them. but nothing much as i felt the bond was disconnected. surprisingly i am more concern over my new k1 class. not because they are wild, but simply they switch character depending on who's the boss. in class, i enjoy playing boss, or rather the queen. :)
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i feel that my life is like a balloon. when everything is smooth and nice, the balloon shape looks perfect and wonderful, cos the air inside is well controlled. but when sometimes i stress myself too much and its like adding air into the balloon. losing its shape and intended form, anticipating for the balloon to burst anytime. blowing up is an awful scene thus i try my best at the very last few seconds, to let air out of the balloon.
i am encountering challenges everyday at work. challenging children with challenging parents. just handled and closed case of an incident that woke me up to see a clearer picture of myself. i feel that i have not been nice to a lot of people because i did not think nicely of them. as a result, i see the difference.
sometimes its really weird, the people whom you want to get attention from will not give you much and the person that you don't want to give attention to, is dying for your attention. just as much things you do to get that person's attention, is that much effort that person is doing to get your attention. i guess what goes round comes round.
life is unfair, a lot of things are unfair. i guess after all the changes that i am seeing everyday and all the unhappiness, though mention and not taken into any consideration, is turning my heart colder towards the whole thing. i think being a dead robot, operating as told is better than being shoot back twice as much than what you suggest. tired.
more changes are coming... hai!
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sometimes i want to start everything afresh. knowing new people and making new friends. going into a new environment. going to somewhere where no one knows me so that i can start afresh. there is nothing ever too late to do before you finally die.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
first day of work with the new timetable was really tiring. i feel my engine dying within me. i lose my cool, i lost my sense, totally dying to quickly end class and get home to sleep. indeed, i really rest for about 16 flat hours from the moment i reached home. knowing that i needed rest than ever, i took a day off to see a doctor to get medicine for my nose, throat and eyes.
guess the last whole weekend was tiring enough just to meet really early to queue to get into SIS for the benny hinn meeting. plus it ending late and reaching home to realise that i have no more energy to work but to have enough rest to get up early the next day to queue again. a night event but a whole day is burn out. but it was worth it. :)
left with no choice, my sunday night is extreme important for me to stay awake to rush up the lesson plans for the whole week. after much research and much reading, i finally finish off with 3 days and fell asleep while cutting some teaching aids. dangerous but i am used to it already.
back to school on the third day was still abit weird as i was still getting use to the new class of children and their old routines that i am somehow trying to change. my own former class also has its sets of behaviour problem, which is boiling my blood. argh...
my supervisor told me that she realised i have been shouting too much recently. well okie, i will try to change. i also too don't like to shout and strain my voice. not worth it to get a throat infection because of "highly irritating attention seeking children". haha. i am mean. just that my children all do not know...
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i got over being sad about my nursery class cos i will be back with them tomorrow again. :) i guess changes will help us to learn the concept of adapting to other things even though we don't like it. i got over alot of things that had happened last week and am stronger this time to be a better teacher.
sometimes, a tell-you-off is good to let people go further.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
yesterday during their snack time, i casually asked them if a new teacher could come in to teach them. some said okie at first, and some said no immediatly. i further try to hint to them that i won't be teaching them anymore. before i could talk further, almost all shake their heads and said no.
"NO! i want you (pointing at me)... i want you."
"why?" i asked.
"i want you.... b'cos i love you."
hugs.
a drop of tears rolled down my eyes as i see their reaction. at least i know i stand somewhere in their hearts. i too, will hate to say goodbye as their form teacher.
i quickly asked them to finish their art work so that there will be some time left for me to spend with them. the last barney song was sang and i send them out the last time as their form teacher. closed the door behind me and cried. i felt so emotional at that point of time.
the most embarrassing part was when i was informing some nursery parents about the change of teacher, tears just rolled down my eyes uncontrollably. worst of all, i look terrible.
its hard to say goodbye. though i will see them every friday... but i know, i know that the feeling won't be the same anymore... all the bondings will just drift slowly as time passes and i will really feel sad about it. lastly i also know that i have to let go and not be affected so much.
i'm an emotional freak.
its like the government passing out the law about the increase of the GST. no matter how unhappy you may be or talk heaven to earth to hell about it... you still have to pay. just like my work, no matter what are the many crazy changes and how much we are unhappy and how much we complain, we still have to adapt to it.
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benny hinn's service was really good today. like what he said, twice the anointing of yesterday. i strongly believe its all about you expecting something from God in your heart and believe that you will receive it, before anything can happen. be hungry so that you can be fed not sit there and wait to be fed.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
on my way home today, as i thought of them, tears rolled down my cheeks. maybe i am too emotional, just couldn't control my tears. i feel so weird...
changes are supposed to be good if it is said to be for the better. but what if the changes are so much that almost everyone is affected and worst of all, there is no room for discussion about the changes?
it's like ever since the march holidays, every week there is a new "information" of the upcoming changes and recently every day there is a new change from what we hear about yesterday. so the whole information is so unstable, loop sided, so disorganized and disorientated... till the extend, i really do not know which information given by the same person can i follow through.
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tomorrow i will be taking my last lesson with my nursery class, according to the latest memo about the new changes that will be taking place next week. emotionally not okie because i feel a lot for my kids. though after the changes of timetable, every friday i am taking them again, i guess its no longer the same again. i am not a robot. i have feelings and bonds with children are hard to build, why want to break the bonds and break my heart. i teared because i love my class.
another thing that made me sad is one of my fellow partner colleague is leaving. she had enough of all the unnecessary remarks and comments for everything she do or say. at first i didn't really like working with her as i felt that she was too bossy. after the march holidays, we had to work together as we were teaching the same level... surprisingly she is someone really easy to get along and we got a lot of things done because of her large collection of resources.
apart from that, we started to talk a lot and help each other along. she takes good care of me by showing concern for me and my life, like my auntie. thinking back working for up to 1 month closely with her can make me feel sad when i know she's resigning... what about my nursery class?
saying goodbye is always hard.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach
sometimes i feel that i am so lucky to be sitting beside good looking people, like today. :) haha. due to lack of seats, i sat elsewhere with my leader. guess what? sitting beside me is a good looking young boy. neat, cute, clean and smart looking. :)
but of cos, i am focused on pastor's preaching and the drama. :) and wow, it's been a while since i comment on someone being good looking.
how true it is that humans are naturally attracted to good looking things. we are always so attracted to the outlook of everything before anything else.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
in heaven that we cant reach