30 October 2006 @7:55 PM
i kept my cool. i tried to remain calm as i try to protect the rest of them. i wonder what happened to him today,
again. he was all upset as he comes early to school. i had to carry him into class and it created such a scene in front of the other parents. what can i do? i can only do my best. when door was close, i was targeted by him and he actually hit me. the other time i managed to stop him as i managed to hit the red spot and get him to cool down. before i could say or do anything, he already pinched me hard. ouch, not really painful but my heart aches more than the skin.
i settled the class and let them had their free choice activity as i spoke with him at a corner of class. he was cooling off while having a short chat with him and thankfully i manage to distract him with a game that i brough into class. piew! it wasn't easy as i really couldn't figure out where did his angry came from today. also, the rest of the class were really nice, knowing that he is like that, they don't mind playing together with him, despite that really angry look on his face, that scares people.
i came back after their chinese class. as i was preparing them and briefing the children on what to do, he started to feel angry again. this time it was worst. not only he attempt to hit me, he also kicked me and took up the chair with the intention to throw it at me. i managed to stop him and next came his bag. he took it and walked up to swing it in front of my face. at that point of time, i tried very hard to ignore his UNAPPROPRIATE behaviour by walking away but he will come behind to try to hit me. okie, attention is totally gone from me, i guess thats why he targeted his friends. in order to protect them, i shifted all the rest of them sitting on the same table to somewhere else to conduct my small group activity. he got upset and flipped half the table up.
as i was helping another child with her game, he targetted another boy and chased after him. anyway, they got stucked at the table standing in between them, like those bollywood indian tree dance. as i looked over, he took a step back and stopped his actions. the moment i turned, he was like all out to eat his friend. TIME OUT. i felt that i needed help, thus i use my energy to carry him aside to my principal who was just next door. well, it was not easy to carry someone struggling hard and let him pinch you and cannot do anything cos both your hands is occupied. what to do when someone is so hot tempered? anyhow he went home angry as well.
okie, i was really sad. but this is a real like classroom life all about.
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many other stuff happened today. i don't know how to expain. i'm tired. working politics - what's it got to do with me when the person you don't like is not me? just because i am closer to her? argh, childish! i don't like to be drag in like that. i really need more of God's strength and favour upon parents on me. i don't want them to like me, i just want them to trust me that i can teach as they think i am too young, like a child. gosh. -_- i was all down the whole afternoon when i thought of the feedbacks from my principal.
worst still there will be a parent-teacher-conference meeting soon. to think of it, i used to hate such days as my form teacher will dig out my ugly picture in front of my mum. now, i have to meet almost all parents to talk about their kid. i am a little not too early for it. i dare not still say that i am still new to this line but i just know i have to keep learning to be a better teacher as professional and communicator.
who says being a teacher is easy?
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
28 October 2006 @1:01 PM
i have been on a sleeping tour. haha* was tired. on wednesday i wanted to take a short nap before starting on my worksheets for my class and preparing more for my learning corners, but i end up having a full 8 hours of rest. argh. anyway i was quite annoyed by myself so the moment when i accidentally wake up, i quickly jumped out of bed to get started. it was really fruitful time as i managed to settle the things that i need till friday. wow! i think i really need to learn to work fast, i meant FASTER. since i can talk so fast, i should be able to work fast too. :) hee*
alright. my class is really making me feel like i am a unpredictable volcano, sometimes in peace and sometimes on fire. in my line, i think i really understand what it means to give your all.
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i remembered very clearly about what Pastor was sharing last sunday. finding your purpose. where to find it? in the marketplace, when we are doing our daily mandane boring job. and i think i understand what he really meant. after 3 months of working with my class i realised that the last time when i confirmed with God to go into cell group ministry was certainly from Him. my ministry i/c asked if i would want to consider to rise up to be an i/c in my ministry. it was really tempting as i really enjoy working with children and i used to always want to be a playgroup ministry i/c.
now i know that i won't even think of it even thought it was what i always wanted before. all i really want is to work towards my purpose that he has placed in my life. question: what have i learn in my current job that helps me to realise my purpose, like what Pastor shared about the few examples of the bible heros? i'm not sure about you but i guess for me it is quite similar to the future cell that i am going to lead.
children are active learners and individually, they are all different. they learn through play and hands on activities. if you have a goal for them, you will help them to achieve it to their maximum potential within them. they are teachable with proper guidance. they do need alot of attention and care, if not they will sometimes go on your nerves and go out of hand. teaching is not only a one traditional method but plenty that keeps coming to get they're attention. once you earn their respect, they are your "favourite students" as they will listen to you all the way. there are many more that i can't remember for now but i'm sure if you change the words children to youths, it somehow links. :)
youth are exciting people who constantly want to learn new things. they are all very different individually. they often "play" with many things, to have a taste of them before they know what they really want. if you give them a goal and guide and help them to reach beyond their potential, you will also earn their respect and they are with you always. youths needs alot of attention and care if not they will seek it elsewhere. correcting a mistake is never a traditional method but many that will help them to change.
i don't know if you see the link, but in my spirit i could sense it. i'm really preparing myself in my job to reach my purpose. where daily i need to give undivided attention to almost 24 of them, though a handful of them are fine on their own. i have to understand the different needs and wants of my students. and my love for them is always there to make the place feels warm and inviting for them to come to class. i love my class and i'm sure i will miss them alot as school term closes. my first class - my k1 daisy. :)
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next week is a long long week. my practicum on wednesday. i'm worried, i'm afraid i won't be well prepared. but i hope this weekend is going to be real helpful for me. :)
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
25 October 2006 @12:45 AM
i told myself that i have to use tuesday to finish alot of work that i needed to do. i have so much i want to do but what did i do all day long?
nothing. i kept moving around the house, taking snacks to eat, drink milk, watch my sister play her game and stare blankly at my assignment. i just completed them
finally, after much self-internal-war within. sometimes i think i am better off last minute work as i can forcus more than starting on it so early and waste so much time. sigh* weird eh.
well at least i can start thinking now about the things that i want to do but have not started. well well well. like my practicum. oh my gosh. i am supposed to be preparing for it all day long today but i didn't. well thank goodness there is always
tomorrow. haha. -_- erm that's not a good way to make myself feel better. at least i cleared the library part where i borrowed more than enough books for my class to read. lets see, i have used up 4.5 quota of library cards.
sometimes i think i need more library cards to get in more books. not that the school don't provide but it is not related to the theme. anyway so far so good. thanks to selwyn and clara for lending me their library cards. :) oh not forgeting my sisters and mum for their cards. so i have more library cards than other cards in my wallet now. haha.
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i'm still snacking. i remembered i have to work on my students t'shirt design template. gosh. i wish i should tell them i am okie with anything they design. but i can't help it to want to do something different from them. i'm such a busybody that thinks i have the time of the world. anyway for my students, i will stay up. i will do anything that will help them learn more. :) i am a nice teacher, i hope.
all i want now is not really sleep, cos i slept alot today plus my nap. hee.
i just want my voice back. pray.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
24 October 2006 @12:59 PM
was having my evaluation with my principle yesterday about my last friday's post-practicium. it was not that bad as i thought she would tell me. i knew i sort of screw things up as i didn't really prepare everything properly and before hand. but i still managed to pull through everything. dr aru was indeed relax on her comments and observation. but i cannot let this be a point where i slack. i don't want to short change the children's learning so i got to buck up in my lesson plan and preparation. :)
anyhow i guess in working life you really see what is real politics. i am stucked in between.
A says the other is like that, and the other few said
A is like that. all i can do is just nod my head acknowledge and
keep quiet. what position do i have to step into their war? i can only watch and see who is telling the truth about the other. leave me out of all these as i don't have time to bother much. school assignments, learning corners and lesson plans alone are enough to bother me for now.
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thank goodness for today's holiday, that i can sleep till 10am. finally! and to use time to clear my assignment and learning corners activities. :) better start now so that i can watch more tv later at night. or rather get to sleep early for tomorrow. heh.
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach
23 October 2006 @1:45 AM
i am changing cos i think need a change. haha. to keep moving on and mostly cos i dislike unknown people to read much into my life. especially creepy people that quotes words from my blog to attack me. some people just have nothing else to do eh and to read between lines?
if you are reading this, keep my new blog url a low profile first. :) i believe when you change your thinking, alot of other changes will follow after. winks* thats the renewing of mind with actions followed after.
i am still my superwoman. Jesus is my superhero. though i still like my violentbeauty nick alot. :)
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach